I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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