I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize