I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's like iHOP with fire
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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