dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
