I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
