went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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