The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
