Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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