Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize