dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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