Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
