so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
