Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
