My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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