we have pet lesbian snakes
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
