I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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