No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
