I just saw a hot homeless man
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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