Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
