how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Randomize
