Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
