Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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