I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.