you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
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The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won