It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
