My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
