my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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