I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
