East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
