love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
