2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
