Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
