we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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