hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
