I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
