I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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