My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
