oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
oh god the rape fog is back!
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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