He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
