Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
