Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im holly from the hills drunk
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
