I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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