Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
