i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
