i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
