im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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