Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
