Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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