ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
