my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
