I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
