Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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