Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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