I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You left your phone here
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