4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
