I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
