why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
my poor anus
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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