Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
