I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
How external is "for external use only"?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
