ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
