Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on