I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
