after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
