Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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